Stop Hiding Your Dyslexia. Be Open. The Truth Will Set You Free

For 32 Years, Dyslexia Held Me Back and Filled Me with Shame. Here’s How I Learned to Embrace It and Thrive.

Welcome to Walter’s Diary, where you’ll find daily musings on life’s ups and downs, heartfelt reflections, and lessons learned. Each entry is a journey through my day, capturing the honest thoughts, small victories, and nuggets of wisdom that come from living, loving, and learning. Subscribe if you like my stories.

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July 23, 2024

The Daily Huddle

Today was quite the adventure in the world of resumes and reputations. My friend sent over a CV for a budding developer. Now, I do this a lot - helping out with CVs and hiring - kind of like a hobby, but with more headaches and less scrapbooking. This young lad probably thought, “Hey, I’ll study coding and land a job for sure.” But with the job market doing the cha-cha and AI taking over faster than a cat on a laser pointer, finding a gig is trickier than a Rubik’s Cube in the dark.

First glance at the CV and BAM! I’m hit with a bright orange banner background with white font. It’s like the sun itself decided to give me a high-five to the face. Who thought that was a good idea? I get it - memorable, stands out. But for a developer job? It’s like showing up to a black-tie event in a clown suit. Unforgettable, sure, but also not exactly what you want to be remembered for. Remember, the CV’s not for the writer, it’s for the reader - HR folks, managers, probably older and more conservative. Orange isn’t their jam.

So, what’s the secret sauce for a good CV? Simple: readability, relevance, and a splash of personality. Think of it like a well-cooked steak - you want it juicy, not overdone.

Later, I had dinner with my friend and asked if she could vouch for this developer-in-the-making. Her response was a resounding “no, I can’t I know the mom not him” That’s a no-go for me. Reputation is all I have, and it’s like gold - hard to earn, easy to lose. That’s how I’ve landed all my gigs this past year, through hard work and trust. It’s the cornerstone of any good recommendation.

Back at my hotel room, I got a message from a reader saying, “Enjoy your updates, Walter, keep it up!” Well, ain’t that a cherry on top of my sundae? It made my day! Thank you, kind reader. Your words are like a comfy blanket on a cold night.

Sifting Through the Scraps:

I’m currently working on my first long-form piece about dyslexia. Spoiler alert: I’m dyslexic. But this isn’t going to be one of those “How I Overcame Dyslexia and Here Are 5 Ways You Can Too” kind of bullshit. No sir, this is about living with it, embracing it, and accepting it as a part of who I am.

Growing up, I despised elementary school. In German classes, they had these “dictates” where the teacher would read a text and we had to write it down. You got an A for 0-1 mistakes and an F for 12+. I was consistently hitting 30+ mistakes. Yep, worst in the class. The other kids laughed at me, and reading aloud was no better. I remember one day vividly, I was called to read a paragraph. I almost hyperventilated. My own name appeared in the text, and I couldn’t read it. The teacher was no help, and the class laughed until my friend whispered, “Just say your name.” The shame was unbearable.

I’d come home with a big ol’ F in dictation, feeling ashamed to tell my mom. She was already having a tough time with a divorce and my older brother’s rebellion. Dyslexia wasn’t tested or well-known back in the 80s, so there was no help available. Today, kids with dyslexia get the support they need. But back then, I developed a superpower: becoming invisible. Despite being tall and hard to overlook, I managed to “vanish” during reading and writing tasks. This trained behavior haunts me to this day. I avoid the whiteboard because my handwriting is atrocious (one of the symptoms), and spelling? Well, let’s just say it’s not my forte. But hey, once I’m up there, I love problem-solving and driving discussions.

I’ve accepted that dyslexia is a lifelong companion. I read slower than others, and I struggle with understanding and connecting when someone spells an unusual name in English (not my mother tongue). Until I was 32, I never told anyone about my dyslexia. I was ashamed, felt less than others, and thought I was a failure. My first job was at a corporation with a slow pace, so I had enough time to cover my tracks. But when I joined McKinsey, my dyslexia was front and center. One of my project managers called me out on my spelling issues and slow reading. It hurt deeply. Here I was, at McKinsey—the best consultancy in the world—and I still felt like a failure.

I hit rock bottom, doubting myself and making mistakes. My self-esteem plummeted, and I felt like I was back in fourth grade. One evening, during a training week in Switzerland, I had a one-on-one with a partner from the firm. I debated whether to tell him about my dyslexia. Would he see me as a failure? Unworthy of McKinsey? But I couldn’t hold it in anymore, so I told him. He looked at me and said, “Walter, what’s the big deal? We didn’t hire you for your writing skills. We hired you because you’re brilliant at all the other things. You see things we can’t. You’re great. But this situation is on you; you didn’t tell your project manager. He needs to know so he can help you. That’s his job. And you need to get help too. We have the resources, the team, and me. Accept it, deal with it, and ask for help.”

His words were a big surprise, a relief, and a dose of truth. I needed to accept who I am and stop hiding my dyslexia. It took time to internalize and act on this feedback. Today, I’m not healed—far from it. I’m still a slow reader, my handwriting sucks, and my spelling is awful. Negative comments about my spelling still hurt, especially from perfectionists who nitpick spelling but have little to say about content. But there’s this amazing invention: AI. I use it to get all the knowledge from my 20 years of professional life out there in writing. And most importantly, I tell people and ask for help. “Hey, that’s me. I’m not perfect at this, but I can do all the other things. Can you double-check this for me?” And guess what? I’ve never had a bad experience being transparent about my dyslexia.

If I could send a message to my younger self, I’d say, “Stop hiding your dyslexia. Be open about it. It will save you a great deal of suffering.”

Lessons from the Trenches:

Yesterday, we had a good ol’ chinwag about the power of awareness and how the “point-and-call” system can help reduce error rates and accidents. I like to think of it as life’s little referee, always keeping an eye on the ball. Turns out, this system is also a fantastic way to form habits. And here’s the kicker: there are no inherently good or bad habits. Yep, you heard me right. It all depends on your personal context.

For instance, if you’re trying to shed a few pounds, munching on an almond croissant every morning might not be the best game plan (guilty as charged!). But if you’re training for a marathon and have lost too much weight, that same croissant could be a lifesaver. It’s all about context, folks. Habits can be effective or less effective based on your goals.

So, with that little nugget out of the way, let’s talk about creating awareness. Start by jotting down your habits and rating them based on how effective they are in helping you achieve your goals. Here’s a handy dandy rating system:

++ for highly effective

+ for somewhat effective

0 for neutral

- for not so effective

- - for downright detrimental

Once you’ve got your ratings, it’s time to start observing yourself throughout the day. Remember, you can only improve something if you measure it. Let’s say you find yourself about to buy that delicious-looking almond croissant. Say point at the croissant out loud: “I’m buying this delicious almond croissant and will eat it, and it will taste great, but it will add 380 calories (almost 20% of my daily needs) to my body and will keep me from losing weight.” These are all facts, and saying them out loud makes them real. Our brain is a funny old thing, isn’t it? You might find yourself strong enough to skip the croissant and opt for a fruit salad instead because you know a calorie is not equal to a calorie. Plus, the look on the café staff’s faces when you use the “point-and-call” method will be priceless – they might even give you a round of applause!

Speaking of being open and honest, here’s a little truth bomb: Being aware of your habits and their effectiveness is a game changer. And for me, admitting my struggles and triumphs is part of the journey. After all, my reputation is all I have, and I’m dyslexic full stop.

Until next time, stay golden and keep those truth bombs coming.

Cheers,

Walter

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Current Books in Parallel Reading:

• Atomic Habits by James Clear

• Pyramid of Success by Coach Wooden

Habits I’m Working On:

• Fitness & Health: More sports, healthy eating, no junk food, lots of veggies, and less sugar. Aim: Sports 4 times a week (weights and running).
Mindset: I’m a runner and I’m healthy.
Status: my excuse for this evening, met with a friend to chat and have dinner; mental gym I get a pass

• Dental Health: Flossing daily to avoid crowns and root canals.
Mindset: I have healthy teeth and I don’t hear the drill sound anymore
Status: nope need to be honest missed it; will do better

• Writing: Practice, practice, practice—daily diary entries, no excuses.
Mindset: I think I gave it my all today

• Weight: 112 kg (still no scale)
Mindset: I’m a healthy and control my weight to feel better

Consecutive Days Posting on Walter’s Diary:

Fourteen (14)