July 14th, 2024 - Keeping Calm Amid Chaos
Balancing Global Anxiety and Personal Strife with a Touch of Ted Lasso Wisdom
Hey, folks! Today isn’t about me; it’s about what happened in the States. Phew, that was close! My thoughts are with Trump and his family. Luckily, he survived - apparently, it was a close call. Saw some strange comments on X (formerly known as Twitter, but let’s be honest, it sounds like a superhero who never quite made it) where people were sorry he survived - sick, right? You shouldn’t wish that on anyone. We’re talking about a human life here, after all.
Now, let’s all keep our heads cool so we don’t spiral down into a civil war. Unfortunately, I think we might be heading that way. Worst case for the US, the world, and humankind in totality. I’m not a Trump fan (he’s right about some things, wrong about many others, and edging toward despotism). I’m also not a Biden fan—he’s too old. My late granddad lived to 95 and was pretty fit around 85, but come on, he couldn’t handle the high-stress job of US president. The president can hit the red button. What will the reaction be overall? Will we see an arms race (civil and military)? Is the military-industrial complex celebrating right now (more money on weapons spent)? How could this happen with all those security measures? There will be more and more strange conspiracy theories coming out—for sure. Violence isn’t the answer… I fear this incident will divide Democrats and Republicans even more in the long term. What about the pressure on Biden to step down now? I’m deeply worried. The world is becoming an even more volatile place with horrible consequences.
On the home front, The Mother asked for more money. Now our expenses are $12k a month (crazy), and the $7.5k I put into the account are gone. So much for the conversation we had two weekends back when she asked, “How much can you contribute?” She allegedly makes $2k a month. When will she understand that her thing doesn’t work? She doesn’t want to change things to save money but also doesn’t want to work (find a job that doesn’t fit into her plan). She started again claiming she is busy taking care of the kids. Funny, the older one is in school and the little one in kindergarten all day (funny word, by the way—loosely translated from German, it means “garden with/for children”), plus we have a nanny. Yet, The Mother can’t work. It’s more like she “won’t.” If I can’t save money, I’m screwed. My project might get extended, but maybe not. She made it clear she doesn’t want to fund anything but expects me to pay for everything so I can’t save. Perverted logic and just an arsehole (sorry for my French) move. It’s exactly what a narcissist would do. It’s all about her—she wants to build her business no matter what. No other opinion, view, or suggestion is allowed. Makes me so sad and angry. Really tough for the kids. I asked her for the paperwork she wanted to ask her friends about regarding financial separation and the parenting plan. I need all of that in writing so I can get out of this and start over, start new, and heal. Have a chance of being normal again and maybe get a bit of happiness back one day.
Progress, I’ve been writing now for a couple of days and trying to find my voice. Apologies for the first few posts—I was in a dark space and angry; my evil twin took over. One learning: taking the time every day to write down my thoughts really helps clear my mind, gives a sense of accomplishment, and makes me proud to maintain this good habit. It’s like my internal sewer system (like in the Ted Lasso show). Before I wrote this daily entry, I felt down, sad, and really unhappy (sitting alone (figuratively) on the plane)—aka depressed. Now, I’m more neutral and relieved. There’s a chance I’ll hit the gym tonight before dinner. After the diary post is before the next post. So, I hope and believe I can do another post tomorrow.
I’m a writer, I’m a good dad, and I’m not broken.
So long, folks. Remember, the sun’ll come out tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar! 🌟