July 13th, 2024 - Running from the Madness
Surviving Sausages, Spiderwebs, and Self-Reflection
Well, today was the b-day party for the youngest one. The Mother decided to keep it small this time, probably because the last few were goddamn circuses. Thank Christ for that, though she still managed to get on my case about the sausages. She’s a controlling b***, always worried I’ll start too early and ruin her perfect plan.
The party went alright, I guess. One thing that always baffles me is the sheer idiocy of other parents. Why in the hell do they buy a present labeled for a 5-year-old when the kid’s only 3? It’s like they’re trying to break the poor kid’s spirit. The little one, all excited, tries to play with it but can’t figure it out, ends up crying like someone shot his dog. Idiots. And don’t get me started on the toy industry. They slap a half-assed age recommendation on the box just to sell more crap. Today’s nightmare was a Spiderman web thrower. Real web shit shooting out of a spray can. What a genius idea.
In the dark forest of my mind, I read an article by Nathalie Martinek from
about the stages when one is in a relationship with a narcissist. Spoiler alert: I’ve been through all the stages and now, I’m just a walking wallet to her. It’s like living with a damn vampire. I feel stuck, can’t even enjoy time with the kids without feeling her fangs ready to sink in.Today’s cherry on top was when she asked me to take the older one to a car show, only to change her mind last minute and go herself with both kids and the nanny. Yeah, we have a nanny now. She hired one without even asking. Just another gem in the crown of her idiocy.
Tomorrow, I fly out for work.
A little hope with good habits; I know running is good for me but sometimes it’s just so hard to do it. Today I overcame my “innerer Schweinehund” (loosely translates to internal dog pig) and went for a run at the beach… barefoot on sand… and waves playing around my feet. Felt good… but had to pee the whole time (normally not an issue for a guy) but it was Saturday and there were a tonne of beach goers arg. Had to suffer through this. Also I’m old as fuck. A bit stiff in the back, sore muscles from the 1 hours run on Thursday; shot I’m over 40 no it goes downhill. Proud to made it out there and used the atomic habits method “I’m a runner and I like to run and be fit” mantra; change the person who I am and not working on the processes and outcome. Also just lernt running isn’t that effective to lose weight… doing weights is more effective. Fuck! I hate doing weights, so boring sooo boring.
So long, bastards. See you in the next circle of hell.