Loneliness is as harmful as 15 cigarettes daily
I’m a friend, I’m a narcissistic abuse survivor, and I’m a beach runner.
July 20, 2024
The Daily Huddle
Well, howdy folks! Today’s entry is brought to you by the letter “S” for sunshine, sports, and some serious soul-searching. I spent a good chunk of the morning in the park with my boys, watching them ride their bikes with more enthusiasm than a squirrel in a nut factory. The sun was shining, the air was crisp, and it was one of those days that just makes you feel alive, you know? After that, I hit the beach for a run, and let me tell ya, there’s nothing quite like the feeling of sand between your toes and the sea breeze in your hair. It’s like nature’s own version of a motivational pep talk.
Sifting Through the Scraps
Now, onto the more nitty-gritty bits of the day. I finally got around to writing my first longer story—woohoo! Feels like I’ve scaled a small mountain. If you’re curious, you can check it out here: 10 Days of Diary Writing on Substack: From Doubts to Drafts. Also had a chat with my mom and got to wish my niece a happy birthday. It’s summer over in Europe, and man, I miss them more than a footballer misses a wide-open goal.
But not everything was peachy. The Mother was in top form today, being her usual self. Let’s just say, if there was an Olympic event for being annoying, she’d take home the gold. Also, it’s the nanny’s last day tomorrow, which means we’re about to step into the chaos zone again. She has this knack for leaving the kitchen looking like a battlefield after cooking, and it’s driving me up the wall. I cleaned up today, but I’ve had it. Time to make some changes. Once I get the financial stuff sorted and my six-month extension, I’m moving out. It’s time to reclaim my life, start healing, and rebuild. For the kids’ sake too, we need to shift to parallel parenting. No more weekend tug-of-war.
Lessons from the Trenches
Coach Wooden’s book has been my companion lately. Today’s chapters on Friendship and Cooperation really hit home. Friendship, according to Wooden, is a two-way street. It’s about doing for others while they do for you. Real friends help each other out; they don’t just take advantage of one another. I’ve got four solid friends—two in Germany and two here. Making new friends has always been tough for me. Maybe it’s because I’ve always been a bit of an oddball and shy to boot. As a foreigner, it’s even harder. Locals tend to stick to their high school cliques, which I find a bit odd.
Friendships are essential for happiness and support. Where I live now, I’ve got almost no one. It’s pretty lonely. Luckily, I’m flying out tomorrow to work where my two friends live. Without friends, Wooden argues, you can’t be your best self. He talks about having a circle of friends who hold each other accountable, like the Diamond Dogs from Ted Lasso. I don’t have that group dynamic, but it’s something worth considering.
Did you know that loneliness has been declared a global public health concern? Yep, the World Health Organization (WHO) says it’s as harmful as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. The Covid-19 pandemic made things worse, highlighting how serious this issue is. The WHO has set up a commission to tackle it. They’re looking at how social connections impact health and wellbeing. Loneliness increases risks of dementia, heart disease, and stroke in older adults. It also affects young people’s education and job satisfaction. Here the link to the article.
That’s some heavy stuff, folks. I need to find a friend where I live or move back to where my two friends are. It’s not easy. How about you? How many real friends do you have? Are you lonely? Any tips on how to deal with this?
So long, stay friendly and thoughtful.
I’m a friend, I’m a narcissistic abuse survivor, and I’m a beach runner.
Walter
**************************
Current Books in Parallel Reading:
• Atomic Habits by James Clear
• Pyramid of Success by Coach Wooden
Habits I’m Working On:
• Fitness & Health: More sports, healthy eating, no junk food, lots of veggies, and less sugar. Aim: Sports 4 times a week (weights and running).
Mindset: I’m a runner and I’m healthy.
Status: yes 4km beach run… slow as a snail
• Dental Health: Flossing daily to avoid crowns and root canals.
Mindset: I have healthy teeth and I don’t hear the drill sound anymore
Status: yes sticking to it atm
• Writing: Practice, practice, practice—daily diary entries, no excuses.
Mindset: double pack today
• Weight: 112 kg
Mindset: I’m a healthy and control my weight to feel better
Consecutive Days Posting on Walter’s Diary:
Eleven (11)